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8/23/2000 Oy. Just one more day of summer vacation, and then more school. My very last year of high school. I'm excited and terrified at the same time. ^_^I bought a new guinea pig; this time a girl. She's absolutely adorable. ^_^ She has this mass of reddish fur that almost makes her look like a tribble. ^_^ For some reason or another, I named her Adele. It was the first thing to come to mind. My dad, of course, simply calls her Furrball. My mother started school again on Monday, so of course, she was working all day on homework. She amazes me. There's no way she'll be able to keep this up. She barely managed last quarter with only two classes; now that she has three, she's going to have to learn to divide her time better. Sometimes, you have to choose to study for one subject and give up on another; you don't always have time for them all. I had a check-up with my doctor at the end of last week, and everything seems to be fine. She gave me a new prescription for my paxil that'll last till about Christmas, and then I have to go see her again. Fortunately, she and my therapist are in no rush to take me off of it. They want to make sure that I'm absolutely, 100% fine before they do anything, which is just fine by me. ^_^ I was terrified they'd take me off of it and I'd slip right back into my old habits.. But they've assured me that's not likely. That's a huge load off my mind. I feel so different now than I did 6 months ago. Before I started taking paxil, I was painfully shy. I had almost no confidence in myself. And I never, ever looked a person in the eyes when I spoke to them. Except for my mother and Ellie. At school, I would just sit in my desk and stare at the wood in front of me, listening to the people talk around me. I never initiated a conversation, and I could barely carry one on when someone else started it. And I was so, so tired. All the time. It didn't matter if I got two hours of sleep the night before or 12. And now.. I'm hyper. ^_^ I talk to people I don't know, I interact with my friends, I had enough courage to learn how to drive and finally got my license, and I'm relatively sure I can talk in class now without having a coronary. ^_^ You have no idea how incredible it feels to look back at yourself and think, "My God, was that me?!" and know that you don't ever have to be that way again. All in all, I'm pretty good right now. ^_^ Listening to: The Dangerous Type by Letters to Cleo. posted 1:32 AM / post 8/17/2000 I got my license! I went out entirely by myself in my car for the first time today. Yay. ^_^ It felt really funky going out and getting into my car all by myself. But it's nice. And I have to go out tomorrow afternoon to have my senior pictures taken. I'm not really looking forward to it. As a rule, I'm just not photogenic. I always look terrible.. Erg. But they actually touch up the senior photos, so maybe it won't be so bad. Pray for me. ^_^Bad news, though.. My adorable little guinea pig, George, died yesterday. *sniffle* For a few days before, he kind of stopped eating and drinking and yesterday he just laid down all peaceful-like and stayed there. It must have happened while I was gone getting my license because I know he wasn't there when I left. When I came back I just assumed he was sleeping. I left him for a few more hours but when I went over to pet him again, it finally sort of sunk in that he was cold. So I tried to pick him up, and then I definitely knew he was dead. He'd already stiffened up. *sigh* My dad thinks he was sick when I bought him. I'd only had him for three or four weeks at the most and he was relatively young; only a few months. Anyway.. Mom and I gave him a nice little burial in the back yard. I think I cried for an hour.. It was so sad. *sniffle* This is the first time one of my own pets has died. I had hamsters when I was little, but I couldn't take care of them myself so it was different; I don't think I was as attached to them as I was to George. I can't decide if I want to get another one or not.. I think I will, but I'm not entirely sure. Surprisingly enough, Lauren has been keeping in touch since Ellie and I saw her at the movie theater earlier this week. She was never very good at it before. But then, now we have email. ^_^ We're planning to try and get together for lunch on Saturday to catch up. It feels really strange having her back in my life again. I tried so hard for years to keep in touch with her, but she never much seemed to care. Now it's like it's back to the way it was five years ago. ^_^ Listening to: Rashiku Ikimasho (Let's Be Ourselves) from Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon posted 1:01 AM / post 8/15/2000 I'm so proud of myself; I willingly got up at 10 this morning instead of sleeping in till two or so. ^_^ My mom was surprised when she came home and found me watching TV. All in all I've had a nice few days. We moved Charlie to his new apartment without incident. I ended up not staying the night, though. His plans changed and he wasn't able to drive me home the next day, so I went on home early. While we were there, someone dropped off a cat for him to watch for a few hours.. Apparently, he at least knew the person, but I'm not sure what the circumstances were. Mom wasn't happy, of course (she's allergic to cats), but we pretty much told her to get over it.. ^_^ And she's gonna have to because Charlie's planning on getting a cat in a week or two. She doesn't know yet. ^_^Anyway.. I've watched a whole lot of movies in the last couple of days. Lessee.. Entrapment (very good!), The Whole Nine Yards (very good!), Drop Dead Gorgeous (again, very good!), and Apt Pupil (very disturbing with no real plot..). And I went and saw Autumn in New York tonight which was also very good.. But sad. *sniffle* On another, happier note, Ellie and I also saw an old friend of ours, Lauren, who we haven't seen in about five years. She hasn't changed at all except her hair's a lot longer. ^_^ I really missed her.. We're going to try and get together soon, though, so that'll be fun. ^_^ Ergh.. I also went school supply shopping today. It sort of rubs in the whole "going back to school" thing.. Ick. We start next Thursday on the 24th. I have senior pictures on the 17th, though, and I can't decide if I want to get my hair cut before then or after.. Last time I did this, I ended up severely traumatized.. You know how people say that whenever a girl cuts off her hair it symbolizes a significant change in her life? Well, it's way, way worse when the change is unexpected. I wanted about an inch or two off, and it ended up layered almost to my ears. It had fallen past my shoulders before. *shudder* It took me months to get back my equilibrium after that! Anyway.. When I do this again, I'm taking a picture with me. No way am I going to let that happen again. Listening to: I Quit by Hepburn. posted 12:27 AM / post 8/10/2000 Well, guess what, everybody! We finally got Charlie's and my cars fixed and BAM! Charlie's new stereo gets stolen. Again. So.. We sent his car in to have the window replaced ASAP since he's going back to Tuscaloosa on Saturday to move into the new apartment. I don't think there will be a new stereo in there for a while.. And in the meantime, he's asked me to switch cars with him since he uses the radio a whole lot more than I do. So I get a newer jeep with power locks and windows but with no radio.. And he gets his old jeep back with no power locks and windows but with a radio.. It works out pretty evenly.My mother's birthday is tomorrow. She'll be fifty. ^_^ She's not taking it too well, either, and wow.. will she be furious tomorrow morning when she finds fifty black crows in our front yard. ^_^ Dad told me to expect them, but he says he didn't do it. He also won't tell me who did. If it wasn't him, and it wasn't my grandmother, and I know it wasn't me or Charlie.. That rules out everyone in town who would have done it. The only person I can think of is my mom's sister, Rubye. I guess we'll see. ^_^ Anyway.. Dad bought her the first jewelry ever since they got married: a set of pearls. A necklace, a bracelet, and earrings. It amazes me that he'll spend $1000 on this and then say we need to econimize, that we're low on money.. Especially when he just wired almost $10,000 to an account for Charlie's expenses this year in Tuscaloosa. But that's another rant. ^_^ I gave Mom a receipt for $200 worth of clothes that she going to have to buy me for school, but that I went ahead and bought, myself. ^_^ And Charlie's giving her a vase of some sort.. I haven't seen it yet. We're moving Charlie up to Tuscaloosa on Saturday, and I'm going to stay the night with him just for fun. ^_^ And then we're going to a lake party on Sunday afternoon for Milica. She's an old exchange student from Yugoslavia that graduated with my brother's class. She happened to be here when we were, you know.. Bombing her home? *cough* The school got her a scholarship to go to a community college, but when we stopped bombing Serbia, she went home. Now she's at the University of Belgrade. ^_^ Anyway, she came to town to visit her old friends here, and the party is for her going home. Listening to: Thank You by Dido. posted 9:51 PM / post 8/8/2000 Ellie and I went to see Coyote Ugly tonight. Thank God I could get out of the house for awhile.. And I got to drive. Yay. ^_^ It was a perfect movie to see when you have no energy. I was way hyper by the time it finished.. Nice movie. ^_^The first driving lesson went pretty well. Except she seems like a nervous type. I'd be going about 20 mph approaching a red light, and she'd say "Okay, okay, brake, brake!" I mean, give me a break. Like I'm really gonna not stop at the traffic light.. But aside from that, she's really nice. And I'm gonna give her a break and be a nice little driver for as long as she's with me because she's almost 9 months pregnant and she's gotta be pretty stressed. ^_^ Listening to: Amateur by Aimee Mann. posted 1:46 AM / post 8/6/2000 Ick. I'm in one of those moods again. I have no energy at all. I don't feel like doing anything. At least not around the house. And it's not like I can go anywhere.. Thank God those driving classes are this week. Then I can get my license and I can go somewhere whenever I want.. *happy sigh* And Ellie won't have to pick me up anymore when we go someplace. ^_^I need to work on my summer reading questions.. I actually did start on the ones for Macbeth, but I got stuck after the first few.. And I haven't found the questions for my history books or I would've done them already. Arg.. Only 18 days of summer vacation left! And, of course, the school has another stupid starting schedule, as usual. We go for half a day on the 24th, a Thursday, then have a full day on Friday, and then the weekend off. Then start for real the following Monday. What, I ask you, is the point of that?! Why not just start on Monday? Oh, I hate that place. The people running it are just totally moronic. Listening to: Chrono Trigger soundtrack posted 5:15 PM / post 8/5/2000 New layout. ^_^ Hope ya like!posted 10:45 PM / post 8/3/2000 I'm so tired. Monday morning at 6:30, the electricians arrived. I don't even know what all work they've done, but it has been loud. And because they needed access to my room, I had to get up. Unfortunately, the fuse box is in my closet. That was a long day. This morning, they came back to finish. At 6:30. Ellie came over last night, and of course we stayed up late.. So I got about 4 and a half hours of sleep out on the couch. But it was fun. So this morning, I dragged myself off the sofa and went to wake up my brother (half an hour late, but oh well..). They needed to get into his room, too. They were putting in grounded outlets for our computers. I had a check-up appointment with my orthodontist at 8:00 (I don't know why.. I don't even have braces anymore..), so Ellie I went to that.. We were back home by 8:30 and lounged around watching TV.. Then around 9 or 9:30, we got bored and decided to drive out to the New York Bagel Company. I went ahead and bought my lunch to take home. ^_^ Yum. Anyway. Ellie had something to do at school at 10:30, and the electricians left around then, too, so dad went on to work, and mom went to her classes, and Charlie left for Tuscaloosa to help a friend move.. So I did what anyone would do.. I went back to sleep. ^_^ When I finally got around to eating lunch at, like, 2:30 in the afternoon, I noticed that my sandwich from the Bagel Co. only had chicken on one side... Strange. So once I added some, it was good. ^_^I finally put up a new design at Aino Jinja, and I even finished the design for Ellie's site, Elysion. Now to work on summer reading stuff for school.. Ick. Listening to: Absolutely, by Nine Days. posted 7:38 PM / post |